How to (not) Make Hard Boiled Eggs....
1. Fill saucepan with warm water. Place on stove.
2. Turn on the burner.
3. Get eggs out of the 'fridge.
4. Gently tap eggs on the counter until there is a hairline crack. Put into water.
5. Say to yourself, "I will not let these eggs boil for an hour like I've done the last 2 times I've made hard boiled eggs."
6. Walk away smiling because you are determined that you will remember.
7. Notice kitchen counter needs to be scrubbed down. Grab bleach spray and paper towels.
8. Wipe down said counters.
9. Look out the kitchen window and think "I should put out those new solar lights along the sidewalk."
10. Go out to garage and open storage closet to look for the solar lights.
11. Curse the Big Guy because he's left the light on, in the storage closet, for at least 24 hours.
12. Look to the ceiling and silently say to God, "I know....I know...."
13. Find said solar lights. Spend 7 minutes peeling off the UPC symbols and pulling out the battery "tags" so that they'll charge properly in the sunlight.
14. Look through house for any sort of shoes that don't require laces to be tied. Settle for the flip flop & socks look.
15. Go outside and try to mentally space the lights evenly. Push said lights into the ground.
16. Look to the sky and silently say to God, "Please help the lawn care boys to not destroy my lights this year with the weed whip. Thank you. Amen."
17. Come inside and notice the kitchen floor needs to be swept.
18. While getting the broom you hear a bubbling, popping sound. You stop dead in your tracks and shout, "AHHH! THE EGGS!" Which causes you to drop the broom, dash to the kitchen and exhale because you caught the water just as it was starting to boil.
Whew! Thankfully, the eggs were saved.